This mom thing isn't what I thought it would be when my lips first kissed that tiny forehead of my firstborn, long awaited peanut more than 5 years ago.

I envisioned endless play dates, children that listened, and always feeling loved and appreciated. I didn't see IEP meetings, bouts of extreme loneliness/depression and worrying about losing yet another baby before my due date.

I envisioned my husband and I taking our kids to Disney World, being able to eat at restaurants with them all of the time, and still having a marriage stronger than that of those around us. I didn't see children that hated riding in the car for whatever reason, one with an eating disorder that prevented us from eating out as a family for years, and a marriage that has hung on by a thread more than a time or two.

I envisioned still having friends that spent time with my kids as much as me, holding down a fulfilling job while raising 2-3 kids, and kids that were grateful for all of the things I'd do for them. I didn't see the friends that would get lost in the shuffle of motherhood, the need for me to stay home for several reasons, and kids that don't seem to notice all that I do each day.

This mom thing, it's hard. It's drag down, make you tired like you've never been tired, miss the days you could come and go, just want a moment to yourself hard. There are days I want to quit. I want to throw up my hands, toss the towel to someone else and bid adieu to this life that I've created for myself and hit the road.

But, like all things, the good often outweighs the bad. The other side of motherhood, the one I didn't see, the hard stuff. The stuff I didn't know I'd experience, it's made me love fiercer than I ever have, stiffened my backbone and made me realize that what we envision isn't always what is meant to play out in our lives.

Sometimes we have to remember that God has a plan for all of us as mothers. He knew we'd have to experience certain struggles to carry the title of mom, but He also knew we could handle it. He knew I had it in me to endure loss, pain, and disappointment. He also knew that I'd love these babies like nobody else would. That I'd fight for them, protect them, and care for them the best I could until my dying day. He knew they'd be worth it.

And you know what? He was right!

This post originally appeared on the author's blog.

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