Take the reins and plan to do what YOU want to do.

Most perfect families you see on your social media feed are not what they seem. Accepting that perfection does not exist is the first step to begin to enjoy what we have and be present in the moment. Being in charge of your own Mother’s Day means you’ll get exactly what you want, and will never be disappointed.

Plan ahead

The most important thing can do is to plan for your day ahead of time so you and your child have something to look forward to. The plans don’t have to be elaborate, unless you want them to be! Simply going for a walk, heading to the movies or the park can be a great way to spend your day.

Love yourself and practice self-care

Embrace where you are right now in your life and remember, there’s nothing wrong with being single! Buy yourself your favorite flowers, book a mother’s day massage, run a bubble bath, or buying yourself something special you’ve had your eye on. Self-love and self-care are necessary to stay positive, and when you’re in a positive mind space, you attract other positive things into your life.

Focus on what you have, not what you don’t

Now that I am in my forties, it is glaringly apparent that I am lucky to have my son. I have seen so many women struggle later in life to have a baby and not be able to. Even with IVF and the multitude of medical solutions to aid in having a baby, there is no guarantee that everyone will be able to give birth. Keeping this realization in mind has made me so grateful to have the chance to be a mom on Mother’s Day, even if it doesn’t look like I thought it would.

Give back to others

One of the best ways to feel love is to give love.

You can give love in small ways and large ways. You could smile at someone on the street, pay for someone’s meal behind you in a drive through, donate to a charity, and spend some time volunteering.

Take time to look back

Each year on Mother’s Day I like to reflect on all of the Mother’s Days I have had and how they have become so much more rewarding over time. I have saved all of my Mother’s Day cards and have kept a journal to help me reflect on how differently I can feel from year to year.

#BossinHeels Heather Monahan runs Heather Monahan, LLC, a mentoring group that advises women on various workplace issues.