It may not be a New York Times bestseller (yet), but "The Life-Changing Magic of Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe," is my unwritten book in which I take "winging it" -- work, parenting, marriage, & life -- to a whole new level, teaching that if you consistently and adequately use EMMM, you'll be happier and so will those you interact with.
According to her website, Marie Kondo is "a tidying expert, best-selling author, star of Netflix's hit show, 'Tidying Up With Marie Kondo,' and founder of KonMari Media, Inc."
Then, there's me.
I'm an expert at nothing, haven't gotten past the creation of my book cover to its content yet, the ringleader of my family's traveling circus show, "Here comes THAT family with THOSE kids," a law school dropout, co-host of 'I Am The Worst Parent Ever' podcast, founder of jthreeNMe.com (a parenting, marriage and self-improvement blog) and on any given day, I may have forgotten to brush my teeth (eww), dressed my kids in mismatched socks, packed a gourmet Lunchable (say it with a French accent to make it sound fancy) for one or all of my kids and have a tower of laundry so high on my nook eat-in table that Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum Giant may very well be at the top.
Oh yeah, and I occasionally use run-on sentences to make a point.
Still, you should listen to me, or at least hear me out on this because I've been on this Earth for thirty-two years now, been happily and grumpily married for ten of those and am raising three children who are predominately joyful and thriving.
That's semi-impressive, right?
And if motherhood has taught me anything, it's to have low standards so that I can be delighted and amazed by both the ordinary the less frequent more extraordinary moments.
So, let's compare Kondo's KonMari Method™ and my Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe (yet to be trademarked, but don't get any ideas) method.
Kondo's KonMari Method™ encourages tidying by category and only keeping items that "spark joy."
The Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe method encourages adults, specifically parents, to base all of their decisions on any given topic on where Moe lands.
People like Kondo's method because time and again it has proved to be effective. Many also like that that it encourages mindfulness, introspection, and forward-looking thinking.
I like my method because, time and again, for myself, it has also proved to be extremely useful.
Can my third child have a third cookie? Eeny, Meeny, Miny, that's a big fat NOOOOOO.
Should I fight the battle that is my toddler refusing to wear socks with her shoes? Eeny, Meeny, Miny, NO thank you, not today.
"Can we watch football instead of Real Housewives," the husband asks? That will be an Eeny, Meeny, Miny, NOPE; it's BRAVO night, but I do give you a "bravo" for trying.
Dinosaur nuggets for dinner? Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe says "Sure, why not!?"
Can we skip bath? Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mona Lisa would say that nobody is going to want to paint you if you aren't clean.
Should I eat pizza for dinner? Eeny, Meeny, Miny, "Moe cheese on that please!"
Do you see what I mean? It works.
And it's funny.
AND, if everybody in the world did a little bit more laughing, well, I think we'd all -- the littles and us, bigs -- be better off.
Per her site, Kondo's mission "is to help more people tidy their spaces by choosing joy" and her company and brand are "committed to developing the simplest and most effective tools to help you get there."
My mission is also to help you choose joy by employing the EMMM technique allowing the stress of serious decision making to get the heck off our shoulders and out of your mind and home.
Listen, Kondo's "tidying up" has rules/steps, as does the EMMM method and here they are:
Commit yourself to "winging" your decisions.
Imagine what your lifestyle would look like if you rid your mind of the unnecessary tension that everyday decisions cause you.
Finish discarding your brain of the perspective that your life, yourself, your marriage, your children, etc. have to be and look perfect at all times.
Wing your decisions in spurts -- baby steps.
Follow through with your choice and don't feel a darn bit of guilt about it.
Ask yourself if this lack of overthinking and analysis sparks more joy in your life and those around you.
It may not be a New York Times bestseller (yet), but "The Life-Changing Magic of Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe," is my unwritten book, but I will write it one day.
OR, maybe I won't -- I'm going to wing it.
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe
Make a decision on your toes
If anxiety hollers
LET IT GO
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe