My child,

I want to see you living in life’s messy moments.

And I mean really living--not standing on the sidelines because you’re afraid. Not standing on the sidelines because you’re embarrassed. Not standing on the sidelines period.

I want you to be an active participant in your life. I want you to be the President of your body and mind, because only you know what your true calling is. I’ll be Vice President and stand close by, but when it comes to anything that makes you happy and that’s safe (I’m still your mama!), I’ll let you decide.

Because I want to see you living in life’s messy moments.

I want to see you splash into a puddle and laugh as mud drips down your face and hair.

Speaking of laughing, I want you to laugh when things are good. Because things will get hard—I can guarantee it, because the hard hits everyone, eventually-- and you will need to hold onto that good cackling laughter to help you get through.

I want to see you living in life’s messy moments.

I want to see you doing the funky monkey and rocking out, despite anyone snickering at your dance moves. Trust me, they wish they were as ballsy as you deep down.

I want to see you reacting with a level head after not getting that grade you strived for instead of getting down on yourself. Sometimes things in life don’t go exactly as planned. Don’t beat yourself up. Hold your head up high, keep trying, and move on to the next thing.

Because life gets messy, but I want you to keep living through it.

I want to see you wearing that bathing suit and jumping into the pool, and not even thinking twice about your body.

Speaking of clothing, I want you to wear whatever makes you feel good. Because clothing is “surface stuff,” and that doesn’t matter, and the people that think it’s top priority—well, run the other way, and don’t look back.

My dress code is based only on what people wear beneath the surface:

Wear kindness.

Wear compassion.

Wear respect for yourself and others.

I want you to embrace the mess that is your body, your everyday life, your family—because the mess is where purpose and meaning are found.

I want you to feel good about yourself so you’re less likely to fall into the trap of hate and shame that is so hard to get out of.

No matter what happens, I want to see you living in life’s messy moments and never pressing pause for too long that you miss out.

Love always,

Mom

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId