My Dearest Daughter, it is my job to recognize all of the “teachable moments” in your life. Sometimes, I totally miss the mark. Sometimes, I knock it out of the ballpark. Just depends on the day. The next time you consider rolling your eyes and smart talking me, the Mother who carried you for 9 long months. The Mother that was in labor for 4 very long days, please remember this:

• I love you!
• I changed your disgusting poopy diapers.
• I held your hand and never left your side (not even to shower) all of those times you were in the hospital.
• I am your biggest cheerleader at all of your sporting events. Yep, that's me screaming my head off on the sidelines.
• I pretend not to hear you when you whisper how much you hate doing chores or eating your veggies.
• I am always there for you in life no matter what.
• I always put your needs first.

So please know:

• Yes, I saw you roll your eyes at me so hard I thought for sure they were going to fall right out of your head.
• I was 11 once and remember having that same "I know everything attitude".
• The tone at which you spoke to me in is totally unacceptable and won't be tolerated.
• I will always be one step ahead of you. Maybe 17.

After a quick prayer asking for patience, the best form of punishment that I could think of in this situation is total embarrassment. Not the Facebook shaming kind. The kind when you have a friend over and they think your mom is totally crazy.

An N'SYNC song came on the radio and I did what anyone my age would do. Crank it up and dance! Busting out every dance move I could possibly think of at the moment. Nothing like wearing long socks with shorts and dancing like nobody is watching. Only difference is someone WAS watching. A friend from your school who will totally tell everyone you know and talk to. Totally ignoring the look of horror on your face as I jump around singing "baby bye bye bye" biting my lip for the affect of intensity.

Once my kick-butt solo is over, I tell you to never talk to me like that again. EVER! Or it will be 10 times worse than you ever thought imaginable. Kids your age are embarrassed by things like your parents kissing you in public or calling you by your nickname. I have a lot more where that came from so don't push your luck. A long letter short; never ever underestimate your Mother. I got this whole being a pre-teen thing in the bag. I've been there done that. Anything you can do I can do better!

Love Always,

Your Amazing Mother