A friend of mine had her first baby a month after my second was born.

On Facebook, she lamented, “Things are so different now that I’m a mother.”

Her back hurts. It sucks to carry ten extra pounds. She asked, when will I feel like myself again?

I told her, never. You will never be the same again.

Your back will always be a little achy.

Your boobs will always be a little saggy.

Your stomach will always be a little poochy.

Your hips will always be a little wider.

Your hair, your skin, your bladder control - they will all never be what it was before, for better or worse.

You will never sleep the same again whether or not the kids sleep through the night.

You might not get out of a nursing bra for a while. Or maternity pants.

You might find yourself talking about poop a lot more than you expect.

You might not wear something that's not stained for a couple of years.

You might not get your nails done or your hair cut as often as you did.

Your hygiene standards will drop, and your tolerance for clutter will go up.

Yes, all that.

But what I did not tell her, is this.

Your smile will always be wider.

Your laughter will always be more joyful.

Your eyes will always be brighter.

Your arms will always be full.

Your mind will always be thinking about how to raise the lights of your life in the best way possible.

Your heart will always be walking out of your chest.

Your love will always be bigger.

So no, after you birth a child (or two, or three, or four and more), you will never be the same again.

A version of this post appeared on Scary Mommy.