With the dawn of a New Year just around the corner, it’s time for New Year’s resolutions, 12 new chapters, and 365 chances to make positive changes in our lives.
I love this time of year. A time when we all take a long hard look at ourselves and, with total honesty, fess up to the things we did that fell below par, ponder any crummy habits we picked up that need breaking, and make a long list of all the improvements we want to make in our lives.
I’m no different than a lot of people. Every year I make my list. On a good year I nail down just a handful of things I want to change; other years I feel more off-track in my life and I run out of paper with my never-ending list of New Year’s resolutions.
But, this year is different. This year, as I sat there with my glass of wine sitting by a toasty fire, I couldn’t help but think about all the times I muttered to myself under my breath, “I’m getting too old for this crap.” Honestly, throughout the years I’ve said it jokingly hundreds of times, but this year I really meant it in a literal sense. So, while other people are putting together their list of resolutions, I’m changing things up a bit with my “new year, new rules resolutions.”
Here’s 14 things you won’t find this mom doing anymore:
Striving for the Body I Once Had
I’m done. This year has been a totally liberating year for me. I’m embracing my changing body, my wrinkles, my sagging…well, my sagging everything, and I’m shifting my priorities. Of course, I’ll still try my best to stay fit, I’m just going to focus my energy on my overall health and how I feel rather than how I look. Freedom at last!
Wearing Crappy, Uncomfortable Shoes
Life is just too darn short for uncomfortable, crappy shoes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve traded comfort for cute and every time I do, I’m completely miserable. No more pinched toes, blisters, or aching arches. Those days are over.
Saying Yes When I Really Want to Say No
I’m a self-professed people pleaser which is why I oftentimes say yes when I’d rather say no. After years of doing more than a few things that I just wasn’t feeling, it’s time to hang up my “yes” hat and trade it in for my “nah…thanks anyway, I’m hangin’ at the house tonight” hat.
Staying Up Really Late
It’s official. I can’t hang with the big boys anymore. I try…I really try! Gone are the days of staying up ‘til 2 am. Heck, I’m lucky if I make it past 10 pm!
Low-fat sour cream, low-fat yogurt, low-fat ice cream, low-fat milk, low-fat cheese…why? Just why? They taste absolutely awful and after you eat anything low-fat your poor taste buds are left feeling so unsatisfied and unappreciated that you end up diving into the good stuff anyway. Nope, not me…from now on it’s the real deal. I’ll make up for it by eating more bananas.
I used to be able to walk into a Wal-Mart or Target, pull a $12 bra off the rack and be completely fine with the fit. Now, not only can’t I wear cheap bras anymore, I really don’t want to wear a bra at all. I’m not sure…am I too old to go braless? (Maybe that’ll be one of my resolutions next year).
The older I get, the more I seek out “real” people. You know the ones…the people who love you for who you are, don’t judge you, who really share life with you, support you when you really need it and are there for you through thick and thin. They’re awfully hard to come by, but I’m taking my chances. I’m ready for a little less small talk and a lot more genuine friendship and compassion.
Waiting in Line…for Practically Anything
I actually feel pretty awful about it, but as hard as I try I can’t help it. I just don’t have the patience for lines anymore. Even short lines irritate me. Unless I’m waiting in line to pick up my million dollar lottery winnings, I’m avoiding long lines from here on out.
I’m excited to announce that I’m definitely too old for squats. No matter how good they are for your lower body, nothing is worth the pain you have to endure to get up from a squat. Heck, I have to make sure when I kneel down to pet my cat that the kitchen counter is within arms reach so I can cling to the counter for dear life to pull myself up. (Well, I might be exaggerating just a tad, although sadly, not that much).
Washing My Own Car
Remember those lazy summer days when you’d wake up in the morning with a mission to wash your car in the driveway? You’d scrub and shine your wheels, bumpers, and windows ‘til they sparkled. Well, call me lazy, but if I can’t pay someone to wash my car it can just stay dirty forever, ‘cuz I won’t be washing it anymore.
Buying Stuff I Don’t Need
This is one of my BIG resolutions this year. When my husband and I bought our house I was absolutely convinced I would never have enough “stuff” to fill it. Fast forward 17 years and not only is every nook and cranny filled, we’re bursting at the seams. This is the year of the BIG purge. If it’s not necessary, comfortable, sentimental or useful…it’s gone!
Thinking “I Can’t”
The really nice thing about growing a “little” older is that somewhere on your journey you pick up a tough outer shell and a whole lot of resilience. Maybe it’s the realization that life is far too short to pass up on anything you want to achieve, maybe you finally gain strength from the many bumps and bruises you’ve endured in life, or maybe you just reach a point where you believe in yourself a lot more than you ever did…either way, it’s a great place to be when you look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Of course I can, why not?”
Oh, those days are most definitely over. First of all, somewhere down the road, I became a total lightweight. In my hay day I could drink practically anyone under the table, now I have a half a glass of wine and I’m slurring my words. I’m pathetic! It’s sad but true, my stone drunk drinkin’ days are a thing of the past, although I’ll never pass up a good margarita.
Following the Crowd
I was never much of a crowd follower in my life to begin with, but for some reason, I’ve become rather rebellious and find going in the opposite direction far more fun. At the very least, it gives everyone else something to chat about, right? Now that my kids are getting older, it’s time for me to dive into my bucket list and forge a new path. If that path is a little less traveled by some, then I guess I’ll have the luxury of dealing with less “traffic” along the way and maybe even reaching my destination just that much quicker.
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us… Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, love, work, family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
~ Neil Gaiman
New Year, New Rules: Here’s 14 Things This Mom Won’t Be Doing in 2018