I don't have any resolutions for 2020. But I do have a word.

Release.

At first I thought about all the negatives I want to release in 2020: fear, hurt feelings, unrealistic expectations, worry…ah, feels good to let it all go!

But I kept on thinking, because if “release” is going to be my word for a brand new decade, I want to see and feel the change. For me, I know lasting change is a two-way street. I can’t change an old habit without replacing it.

So how do I actually do this? How do I release my grip? It won’t magically happen. I can’t chant my way out of worry, and I can’t mantra my way through fear.

Then I imaged how I want my family and friends (my people) to feel when they are with me. I thought about the times my husband says he wants to laugh with me more because he loves when I joke around with him. I thought about the moment tonight in the kitchen when our whole family had a dance party during dinner. The kitchen was messy, the floors needed mopping, but I chose to let it go. We danced and dipped our chicken nuggets in homemade honey mustard sauce (so good!) And speaking of dip, my husband dipped his dance partner (me!!) for the first time in forever. I slipped when he dipped, and let's just say it was quite the scene. I was in tears laughing, and the kids were too. Yes, my kids were in heaven. It was way better than our normal routine.

I want more of that. I want my family to feel fully loved and full of grace. I want my kids and my husband to smile more when they are with me. I want our family to laugh and enjoy 2020 to the fullest. I want to release all my love on all my people every single day.

That’s it. I have to release the bad stuff AND the good stuff.

So I’m going to let go of the worry and release more hope. I’m going to let go of my expectations and release more grace. I’m going to let go of my tight grip on hurt feelings and frustration, and release more love to my people.

So for me, the word of the year is release. I know it's going to take practice and prayer, but I have to start somewhere. So I’m letting go of what doesn’t serve me anymore and I’m releasing way more of all that good stuff inside, too, including impromptu dinner time dance parties!

Let go of expectations; release grace.
Let go of worry; release hope.
Let go of hurt; release love.