Insecure: not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious (Google)

If there is one word that I come back to again and again as a mother and as a woman in this phase of my life—it is insecure. This lonely, isolating, and sometimes viscous word creeps into our lives and consumes us on a daily basis. And I’m weary of it.

We have to fight back. We have to be brave. We have to win.

This word means something different to every mother I come across. But it is equally destructive in whatever form it takes:

• She is insecure in her ability to be a good parent.
• She is insecure about what she said to that person yesterday.
• She is insecure that she isn’t contributing to her family as much as she should.
• She is insecure that she is still breastfeeding.
• She is insecure that she never breastfed.
• She is insecure that her sex life is not where she wants it to be.
• She is insecure about her body after having kids.
• She is insecure about the lines on her face.
• She is insecure that her daughter got in trouble at school.
• She is insecure that people will think she is weird for either making her own or not making her own baby food/wipes/insert WHATEVER here.
• She is insecure that her husband wonders what she does all day long at home.
• She is insecure that her in-laws secretly find her lacking.
• She is insecure that her home isn’t clean enough.
• She is insecure that if she takes even one break or moment for herself during the day, then she will be seen as lacking.
• She is insecure that if she says no today someone will think it’s always no.
• She is insecure in her decisions, always second guessing herself and worried about disappointing someone. Everyone.

And on and on. And on.

Aren’t we tired of this? Haven’t we had enough?

Where in the world did we get this idea that we had to be perfect in order to be beautiful? To be happy?

Bottom line is this: being a mother, a wife, a woman is challenging.

We are the caregivers, the lovers, the teachers, the shapers.

How could we not feel anxious? How could we not feel overwhelmed by all those hats we have to wear?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Teddy Roosevelt

This is the mantra I want us to repeat over and over again until it sticks in our brains like super glue and dazzles our soul every single time the insecurity tries to sneak in. Because comparison is the first step toward envy, and envy is the beginning of insecurity. And insecurity breeds the worry and anxiety that we are simply not enough.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” ~Luke 12:25

We have to fight back. We have to be brave. We have to win.

If I could send a love letter to every struggling mama, to every woman in the world right now, it would say this…

Dear Brave Soul,

I see you. I see how hard you try every single day. I see the struggle. I see the hope. I see the reinvention that comes with growing older. I see the courage it takes to try to be better today than you were yesterday.

I hear you. I hear your silent cries of loneliness. I hear the constant longing to be something other than the uniquely authentic person that you are. I hear the whispered promise to be better today than you were yesterday.

I feel you. I feel the anxiety that you will do something or say something wrong today. I feel the hopelessness that you’re stuck in this stage, this phase of life. I feel the fear that always threatens to consume you. But I feel the strength that you will be better today than you were yesterday.

There is beauty in the waiting.

Forgiveness is the only path to grace.

Humor will lead to happiness.

God only gives you what you can carry.

Don’t let insecurity get the best of you. Choose to physically banish the thought the second you feel it come in. Be a light of love to everyone you see. Find happiness and peace with the decisions that you have made…and watch the world lighten up around you. It is in your power to do so. You can do it.

Fight back. Be brave. And win.

xo,

Kacey

The Daily Soul Sessions series provides a daily dose of soul and inspiration for all mamas! The Daily Soul Sessions for Every Mama and The Daily Soul Sessions For The Pregnant Mama gently remind moms to be mindful, to practice gratitude, to learn to look for the small magical moments of motherhood, and to embrace this exact phase of life. It’s essential to take those precious moments in the morning, to ready your daily soul session, to then go out and be the best woman, wife, and mom that you can be. Join The Daily Soul Sessions mama tribe at:

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Hi! We are Kacey, Kate, and Kara Coppola–3 sisters (2 of us are identical twins!), Grammy nominated singer/songwriters, and recording artists from Denver, Colorado who, when we got pregnant accidentally the first time around, wrote a book about how to stay connected to yourself, your positivity, your creativity, and your inspiration during those crazy 9 months! Our 2nd book, The Daily Soul Sessions For Every Mama is available on Amazon now.