So much of how we mother depends on how we are composed. It depends on our history and we we were mothered.

Let’s be real, nothing about motherhood is easy. From pregnancy, to child birth, to sleepless nights, to potty training; the list is never ending and it’s draining to say the least.

So how can we be expected to be collected and attentive and present and socially acceptable, all while trying to keep these children alive and fed and up to date with the milestones they’re expected to be at?

The unrealistic standards that have been set for mothers have created the ultimate obstacle course, you may make it to the end but at what cost?

You’ve lost yourself through the process and probably lost sight of the goal which should be raising happy children. Not raising exhausted children who are told they must keep up with the social standards to be ample.

The cycle that we’ve been through, being raised in this manner, needs to end. We need to learn to question the ways we have been taught and make our own choices.

Why not focus on making it through gracefully without focusing on the judgement of others? Without depending on the ways of our parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles.

Maybe this way we can pace ourselves and take deep breaths rather than hurdling through motherhood, rather than feeling as though we’re in a race and we need to make it to the finish line with a gold medal, otherwise we’d be deemed inadequate.

We need to drop the weight of these unrealistic expectations and do what is right for us and for our families, not what we have been conditioned to believe is right.

We need our children to be happy before being successful, because without happiness, what will be their motivation?

We are doing all this for our children, so let’s be the best versions of ourselves for the most important people, our children.

And if that means questioning everything you’ve been taught, so be it.

There’s always more to know and always ways to improve.