If anyone has ever told you that having kids is a breeze, then they are lying through
their teeth. Very parent will agree that it is a tough job and as soon as you get a handle on one phase of their lives, a new one hits.

If it isn’t diapers and the terrible twos, then it is puberty and the teenage years. But one of the most challenging phases for a parent is the college phase. Every parent comes face to face with the reality of the situation when their little baby leaves for college for the first time.

There are so many pitfalls to avoid as a parent, so here are some tips to guide you
along this, often stressful journey.

You have to let go

When they leave for college, you have to let them go to college. The first thing that
parents want to do when their kids leave for college is to treat them like they are still
living under their roof. In wanting to keep them close, you will push them away further.

They have been looking forward to spreading their wings for years and if you keep
holding on, they are going to yank free. More often than not, this ends in disaster.
Rather let go and let them figure out that your home is really comfy and they will return.

Nothing makes a student long for their parent’s home as a bit of tough love and a bit of a struggle. When they realize that fixing their own meals every day is not as easy as it seems, they will run home in the first instance.

Don’t be a stranger

You want to let go, but that doesn’t mean that you have to drop off the grid and never communicate. You need to give them space and time to immerse themselves in college life without interference. Giving them the opportunity to actually miss you will do wonders for your relationship.

They will love to share their ideas, struggles and adjustments with you. All you need to do is to listen and if they ask for advice, give it. Whatever you do, don’t force your
opinion on them or tell them what to do.

Let them browse around these guys for a while who can work on their writing
assignments when they are not in a mood to study. Just let them be free. All you need to do is to suggest. They will learn that you are wise and only mean well.
Don’t be too hard on them Part of going to college and being a student is learning how to make mistakes and learn from them. As a parent, your natural instinct is to intervene and ensure that your child is taken care of. The problem is that they are not getting younger and that they are on their way of becoming responsible citizens of their own.

If they don’t learn how to learn from their mistakes at college, they might end up making a serious mistake at work and get fired.

Give your child the opportunity to make mistakes, but more importantly, allow them to fix it and learn from it. The time that they lived under your roof was the time where they could make mistakes in a safe environment. At college, the stakes are a bit higher, but they will learn.

Keep a safe distance

It sounds odd to say that you need to keep a safe distance, but for your sanity and that of your child, you need to keep visiting to a minimum. If you try and visit too often, they might interpret it as you not trusting them. If they have a bit of a rebellious streak, they might just add some undue stress to your life.

No one is saying that you should never visit, but give fair warning before you plan to
visit. College students are far from being angels and you should not be naïve. They are going to get up to stuff that you don’t approve of.

But if you show them that you trust them and don’t scrutinize their spot, then they might decide to think twice before doing something stupid. It is a learning curve and some learn faster than others. You need to give it time and trust them.

Only give advice when asked

Your student is out of the house and wants to do things the way he or she wants. Give them the space to do that and figure out what works for them. If they need or want advice, then they will ask you for it. Don’t assume that you can give advice and communicate with them as you see fit. They could read into the advice as you trying to tell them how they should do something.

It might not be your intention, but they will appreciate the fact that you allow them to do things their way. They have waited a long time for that freedom. Putting a chain on that freedom will only separate you further.

Conclusion

There are no easy answers or a perfect recipe for parenting college students. The one thing that is constant and should never change is that you love your kids and that they should know that. If they feel that they can share anything with you and not be judged, they will be open and more likely to share their college life with you.