Mommy was a bad girl.
I say that only half-kidding, 'cause humor is my go to when I get anxious, scared or "down."
I made a mistake today, and it has been eating at me all day long.
I'm a stewer; I like to stew on things, especially my mistakes.
Mommy got a traffic citation today, and I'm embarrassed as heck.
Even more than that though, I'm disappointed in myself.
All day, I've felt uneasy -- like the edginess from when you were younger and would lie to your parents about where you were going, leave the house looking all proper just to change into your tube-top and mini-skirt after departure, and then arrive home just in time for curfew -- except now I'm adult, I didn't lie, wasn't dressed provocatively, and it wasn't my parent that caught and called me out on my blunder, it was a man in blue.
I'm a rule follower, so today's encounter with me in my Town N' Country S minivan, it has me unnerved.
That being said, a small part of me is thankful to have been reminded of my flawed humanness today.
Every now and then, the universe sends you a message.
Sometimes the messages are subtle, and other times, well, they come in hot with sirens and lights.
Today's unexpected message for me:
To SLOW DOWN.
Slow down my car.
Slow down my brain.
Slow down my general mode of "robot-mommy" operation.
Today, Mommy was a bad girl, but Mommy, more than anyone, understands the importance of big people, just like their little people counterparts, learning and growing from their mistakes.
So, while I'll undoubtedly feel like a doodyhead for perhaps another week, I'm sure I'll come out on the tail-end of the next seven days with more focus, less bustle, more presence, and less preoccupation, and for that, I am grateful.