I’m not talking about the kids, I’m talking about you. Lately there seems to be an increase in the amount of “humorous” blog posts regarding raising children. Posts about how tough it is to have kids. Thoughts on all of the things parenthood stops us from doing. Jokes about how kids have ruined our lives. Is it really that funny or are we joking our way into misery?

Life is only as good as we make it. And when we choose to spend our time focused on the negatives, we’ll never enjoy a moment of it.

All too often I see Facebook updates from childless friends commenting on how happy they are to not have children to dictate their lives. They can wake up when they want to. They can stay out late. They can spend their days doing whatever they want. But, why do they think that children take all of our freedoms away when in reality they don’t? Because of parents like us.

We parents have made parenthood look like a prison sentence. We complain about no sleep. We complain about dirty dishes. We complain about not having as many date nights or girls’ nights out. We complain about stepping on Legos. Is there any part of parenthood we actually do like? Or do we just really like being unhappy?

If you’re stuck in “complain about my kids” mode. Stop. Here’s how:

1. Accept Things. When you signed on to be a parent, you signed on to no sleep. It didn’t seem to bother you that you didn’t get much sleep in college, so why is it such a big deal now. Your kids come to you at night because they’re hungry or scared or because they just miss you. Instead of moaning and groaning and wallowing in your own selfishness, comfort your kids and stop taking these moments for granted. After all, someday they’ll be slamming their bedroom door in your face.

2. Take something off your plate. If you’re unhappy, you may just have too much going on. Your children don’t have to participate in every single activity they’re interested in. Rotate sports. Pick one or two extracurricular activities per season and don’t overload your schedule or your kids’ schedules. Too much “fun” means you and your kids will be tired and cranky way more often. That leaves you more likely to whine and complain instead of enjoying your life and your kids. We all need downtime, and it makes life much more joyful.

3. Travel. Who says you can’t travel with kids? Once we have children we tend to stop traveling in order to save money or because we think it’s a hassle to travel with kids and all of their gear. Well kids don’t really need as much gear as we think they do, and vacations don’t have to cost a fortune. Stop buying that latte every day and stick the money away for a nice trip next year. Maybe you’ll actually be able to relax and realize that your kids are really pretty awesome. It will be fun and educational to show them the world too.

4. Become a Minimalist. Kids today have way too much junk. They don’t need every new video game or My Little Pony or iPad that comes out. And maybe if they didn’t have so many Legos you wouldn’t be stepping on them all the time. Ditch the items they no longer play with – sell them if you can to help pay for that vacation, and stop buying stuff they don’t need. Christmas is coming up – do your children really need 20 gifts? Last year we decided our children would get three gifts each under the tree (plus the gifts from grandparents and relatives) and while we were worried they would complain about not getting enough, they didn’t. They didn’t even notice that they only opened three gifts instead of 10. They were excited with what they got and that’s pretty cool.

5. Forget the mess. Yes, kids are messy. But if they don’t clean up after themselves, like my kids, that’s our fault as parents. We baby them. We don’t expect them to pick up their toys and so they don’t. Make a chore chart and stick to it. Your kids will be better off for it and so will you.

6. Change your routine. If you’re tired of your kids waking you up at night, go to bed earlier. If you’re like me and really hate being woken up by the kids too early, get up before they do. When I wake up before the kids and start my day doing things that I need to do, I am so much happier to see those little faces when they wake up. Mostly because they aren’t jumping on me and pulling me from a deep sleep. But the point is, you get some alone time and get to fully wake up, allowing you to start the day off happier.

Bob McFerrin was right. We just have to stop worrying (or complaining) and be happy. It’s a choice that we can make every day, no matter what.