I’m tired.
I’m tired of all the conflicting information.
I’m tired of the polarized views.
I’m tired of the “all or nothing” mentality.
I’m tired of trying to figure out what’s right and what’s wrong and what’s best and what’s not.
I’m tired of being on edge every minute of the day.
I’m tired of being wide awake every hour of the night.
I’m tired of politics.
I’m tired of viruses.
I’m tired of comment sections.
I’m tired of life in the time of COVID-19.
I’m tired of agonizing over what to do with myself (a teacher) and my kids about school.
I’m tired of getting into spats with the people I love most in this world because we see this global pandemic from a slightly (or vastly) different point of view.
I’m tired of everything getting postponed and pushed back and canceled.
I’m tired of questioning every little cough and ache and sniffle.
I’m tired of looking at data from extremely reliable and trusted medical professionals (some of whom I know personally) and clearly seeing upward trends and upticks yet having the general public ignore this data and shame people for believing it.
I’m tired of seeing reports of skewed data and doubting all those medical sources I thought I trusted.
I’m tired.
Or I was.
This past weekend, all my frustrations and worries and stresses and big, big feelings came to a head.
I was sicker than I’ve been in a long time. Sick to my stomach. Headache so severe I couldn’t open my eyes. Body aches. Hot flashes. Chills. Dizziness. Muscle weakness. And complete and utter exhaustion.
To be honest, I thought I might have the you know what (coronavirus).
I happened to be at my family’s lake house. I mustered the energy to walk down to the dock and I took a seat on the boat. Within minutes, the waves and the warmth of the sun lulled me to sleep. Deep sleep. Drool running down my cheek sleep. Didn’t hear a thing around me sleep.
When I was finally jolted awake, I was cranky and irritable so I went up to the house and settled in to continue my nap. I ended up sleeping for several hours, woke up, helped with dinner, ate dinner, and promptly went back to bed where I slept for over 15 hours. In the morning, I got up, but still felt so exhausted that I went to sleep on the back deck. I faded in and out of sleep for several hours out there. And ended the day just after dinner where I slept for another 14 hours.
I woke up feeling better than I had in a long time. My headache was gone. The muscle pain- gone. The stomach cramping- gone. Weight of the world on my shoulders- gone.
I’m honestly not sure if I had a touch of anything or not, but I know with certainty that I was completely fatigued- mentally, physically, and emotionally.
And what my mind and body and heart needed more than anything was rest.
You’d be surprised just how healing a long, deep sleep can be.
When we sleep, our body rests and replenishes and recharges itself.
Our mind resets and repairs itself.
Our heart relaxes.
We are restored.
Perhaps, like me, you are tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally tired.
Might I suggest some solid sleep? Carve it out however you can. Ask someone to watch the kids. Go to bed earlier than normal. Turn off the noise.
If sleep eludes you at night, be sure to find ways to rest and take care of yourself during the day.
Take a nap.
Take it easy on the caffeine and hit the water extra hard.
Take some time for yourself. You can’t take care of anyone or anything else if you’re barely hanging on.
Take a hike. A nice long walk can help clear your mind and regenerate your spirit.
Take a bath. Water has healing powers, too.
Take deep breaths. It will help you relax. It will help you stay calm. It might help you fall asleep.
Take stock of all your blessings. In hard times they can be hard to find, but they are there. And a grateful heart is a heart at peace.
Take a break from social media. Don’t take the (click)bait. Scroll on past that comment section.
Take everything you read and hear with a grain of salt. There’s so much information out there and just as much misinformation. Everyone seems to have an agenda. Knowing that is half the battle.
Take one day at a time. Today is hard. Tomorrow might be, too. But it won’t always be this way.
Take it easy. On yourself. On your loved ones. On the world. None of us have ever experienced anything like this.
If all else fails, talk with a doctor. Or a therapist. Or both. There is no shame in asking for help.
Sleep isn’t a cure all for everything we are up against right now and it won’t take away all our frustrations and worries and stress, but it will help our immune systems. It will improve our moods. It will give us more clarity. It will help us feel more energized.
It may not give us back the life we had pre-COVID-19, but it will certainly give us a fresh perspective. And sometimes perspective is everything.
If you’re feeling as tired of it all as I am, there may be no better time than now to sleep on it.
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