Love.

When I think of my family, I look, see and find love.

It can be a friend, blood relative or a relative by marriage.

You sacrifice for family, you fight for family, you fight with family, but most of all you cherish your family.

When I was younger, I grew up thinking family were people who were only relatives. As I am an adult now I have learned that you get to choose who your family are.

My family is not like others.

I belong to a fairly common type of core family, I have a mother and father who are still married and a younger sister.

I am divorced and have a son, Noah, who is nine now. They are the family that was bestowed upon me.

My chosen family, consists of my two best friends Tammy and Kindra. I met Tammy when I was 25 years old when we were both deployed to Afghanistan, who is now a daily source of love, comfort and help. I met Kindra when I was 22 years old and we were stationed together at Moody Air Force Base in Georgia; we hated each other the first year we knew each other. She has a 6 year old son who was born exactly 3 years to the day my son was born. We talk weekly and vacation together still almost 8 years later.

Here’s where it gets interesting. I recently gained an entirely new family.

Now, I know what you’re thinking but, no, I did not get married.

I was a gestational surrogate.

I gave birth to a 10 pound baby boy June 10, 2017. As I laid on the operating table and the OB removed him from my belly via cesarean, I could hear his father crying and thanking me. J (that’s what I’ll call him for privacy reasons) showed me and showered me with love while I was carrying his son for him.

I got to know about his family and he got to know about mine. I’ve met all his closest friends and family at the baby shower and felt their love as well. They all kept telling me how great J is and how he’ll make a wonderful father and all I could manage to say is, “ I know!” He’s met my mother and in fact, his sister wanted steal my mother away after they met at the baby’s birth. The entire situation, which you would think would have felt awkward or weird didn’t at all. It was the most natural feeling situation I have ever been in because J was my family at that point.

J and I couldn’t be more different.

He’s black and I’m white.

He’s a democrat and I’m a republican.

He’s gay and I’m straight.

He’s 50 and I’m 30.

He’s from the north and I’m from the south.

He’s a city man and I’m a country woman.

None of which is even a thought or care because he IS and forever will be part of my immediate family now along with baby J.

The world would have us believe that we can’t get along and love each other and yet we do, EASILY!

What is our common denominator a heart for serving and helping others and we both love God!

When I think of who my family consists of J and Baby J are at the top of list along with my son.

J and Baby J share space on other walls in my home and office with tons of pictures!

I have the most incredible family with the most incredible story!

J and I are currently discussing doing a sibling journey and one day I personally hope to extend my little family by adopting and becoming a foster parent.

You see, I ALWAYS knew ever since I was a little girl that I would have a large family and be surrounded by children.

I just didn’t realize that some of those children, I would be having for others, and it has made our story and experience that much sweeter.