The following events are not fictitious. Any resemblance to you or your family is indeed very likely. Please accept this virtual cup of coffee with my condolences for your lack of sleep. - Sarah.

3:01 a.m.

4-year old: "Maaaaaaaah-meeee, it's time to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! Time to make the caaaaaaaaawwwwfeeeeee!"

me: "No, it's definitely not. Go back to sleep."

Still learning the lesson that chocolate contains sugar and CAFFEINE. (Photo credit: "Easter Bunny!" Photo by Sarah-Rose, Creative Commons license, at https://flic.kr/p/9DkYVa)

4:22 a.m.

4YO: "It's getting light out!"

Me: "No, it's definitely not. Go back to sleep."

4:48 a.m.

4YO: " Mommy, how do bats see in the dark?"

Me: "I don't know. Go back to sleep." (Meanwhile, thinks to self, hmm, bats have poor vision right? But they echolocate. . . why am I thinking about this.)

4YO: "I'll ask daddy!" (runs to daddy, who wisely retreated to the guest bed to avoid this nonsense.)

"Kid, we don't see in the dark. But if we did, we would look you in the eyes and tell you to go the Fork to Sleep!" - Sincerely, batty. (Photo credit: "DSC_0530" by Bat-Wrangler, Creative Commons License at https://flic.kr/p/5EkDf4.)

4:49 a.m.

4YO: "THEY ECKA-LOKAY!"

Me: "Yes, echolocation. Go back to sleep."

6:22 a.m.

4YO: (Snoring.)

Me: (Snoring)

7:01 a.m.

4YO: "Mommy it's light out! Time for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"

Me: "Time to make the caaaawwww-feeee." (Yawn.)

How did your child's chocolate hangover go? What's that, you wisely did not let your youngster consume copious amounts of chocolate late in the day?? *All hail your wise parenting choices!*