Are you SELFLESS or SELFISH?

Being selfless sounds like a positive trait while being selfish sounds like a negative trait, right?

Let’s look at the definitions…

selfless: concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own; unselfish.

selfish: lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

I don’t entirely agree with these definitions. “lacking consideration for others” is a BOGUS definition of selfish…at least the way I look at being SELFISH!

Being selfish is what made me go from happy to AMAZINGLY IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE!

I used to try to be the most selfless person you would ever meet, and I usually succeeded. The truth is, being selfless is one way I get to be selfish.

A few years ago I was doing it all…being selfless. I did anything and everything for my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, my boss…I was a non-stop “how can I help you” machine!

Then one day I started getting pains in my joints. The pain would come and go. One day it would be my shoulder, then the next day my knee. After a year of doctors, crazy diagnoses, pain, fatigue, and major weight loss, I found out I had rheumatoid arthritis.

The pain was constant.

All day every day.

I could barely walk.

My body hurt everywhere.

I was so tired because I wasn’t sleeping.

And chronic pain takes everything out of you, literally!

I was completely fatigued all the time.

And I was still trying to DO IT ALL!!

Learning to Say No

Finally, my mom told me to STOP! She told me to stop doing all the “extra” things. I didn’t feel like they were extra. So naturally, I nicely argued with my mommy – eek!!! But I finally came to a point where I knew deep down that she was right. It was SO HARD TO ADMIT! So after a little resistance, I finally gave in.

This was the first time I was saying “NO” to things. No to my husband, no to my kids, no to family and friends, no to work…

This was one of the hardest things for me to do…the biggest lesson for me to learn…and a life-changing blessing!

And I learned that by saying no to all those “extra” things, I was finally saying

YES TO MYSELF!!!

I began to realize that I had to make changes. And more importantly, I realized WHY I needed to make changes! I learned that my mess was my message. I knew that my pain would become my purpose! God put it on my heart early on that I was an ordinary girl He was calling to do extraordinary things! I decided that I would help other women, especially moms, re-discover their own life. I knew I would help women find true happiness and learn to enjoy life!

Being Selfish Helps You Be A Better Mom

Even though I still have RA today, I am so much better – mentally, physically, and emotionally. Things have changed, but I’ve never let RA stop me from living my life!

I am a lot healthier and stronger now, so I get to do some selfless things again! But I know when my energy is drained. I understand I need to listen to my body and get rest. I do things I love. I take care of myself so that I can serve others.

Now I challenge you to look at your life…are you being selfish enough?

Probably not!! Especially as a mom, it’s hard to find the balance of selfishness and selflessness. We have to take care of our kids, we have to feed them, bathe them, look out for their well-being.

So how can you add some self-love into your life and still be a good mom? Easy…

Self-love is a daily practice of a good mom!!!

When you take time every day to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make sure you are happy and loving life, you are able to share more love with others.

I’ve created an easy checklist to help you get started on your self-love journey!

Even if you’re not a mom, these are some awesome ways to fall in love with your life! You don’t have to do everything on this list. Think about things that make you happy. Get in touch with yourself, your heart, and your needs.

What will you try first?

Let me know in the comments below what your favorite way to practice self-love is!