Dear Jonah,

You’re 11 today!!! How time has flown!!

There were a million things I wanted to write to you on your birthday card this morning but didn’t want to get too mushy. Birthdays are supposed to be fun and lighthearted.

What I wanted to tell you is how proud I am of you. I know it can be difficult at times having a brother with special needs, especially when it’s your twin. There have been times you have told me you feel like the older brother and I get that.

When I found out we were pregnant with twin boys, I thought how wonderful!!! They’ll be best friends, they’ll be inseparable. But God had other plans for you and our family.

There were years Collin didn’t acknowledge you, and at times he didn’t realize you were in the same room with you. It was like living in two different worlds.

As a mom, this made me feel guilty and sad.

Then there were the years that were hard.

Meltdowns

Aggressive behaviors

Hitting

And I know it seemed everything revolved around Collin, and it did. I know you felt left behind.

All of this is hard to understand–

I sometimes have a hard time understanding myself.

But I know you get it. I know when you opened up to your fifth-grade glass and connected with another classmate who has a sibling with Autism. Your teacher explained to me how proud she was of you for showing the ability to understand and share your feelings with the class.

I want you to know how amazing you are and what a wonderful brother you are to Collin. And I know by the way Collin looks at you how much he loves you and how special you are to him.

So, thank you Jonah for always trying your best with your brother and always having his back as brothers do.