I used to think that if my kid was doing well in school,

getting straight A's

and was liked by their teacher,

it meant that I was doing a good job.

I used to think that if my kid was a totally impressive beast

and killin' it on

the soccer,

flag football

or baseball field,

it meant that I was doing a good job.

I used to think if my kid was chosen to be

center stage,

at the center for a picture,

or

given the lead role in anything,

it meant that I was doing a good job.

I used to think that if my kid was chosen

as "leader,"

or given the most speaking lines,

or asked to be team captain,

it meant that I was doing a good job.

But I also used to think that if my kid

got a B,

wasn't chosen for a leading role or wasn't given any talking parts at all,

sat the bench,

was last to be picked at recess,

OR

if they were just steadily "average,"

it meant that I wasn't doing a good job.

How 'effin screwed up is this thinking?

First off,

anything your child does well or earns,

is THEM doing a good job, NOT YOU.

Secondly,

anything your child doesn't do well or does mediocre,

is THEM still doing a good job and giving what they've got to give,

and holy heck,

THAT
IS
ALWAYS
ENOUGH.

So tell them that.

And you believe it, too.

And also,

please understand that

YOU not doing a good job,

it looks a hell of a lot like you trying your best, day in and day out.

AND
THE
SAME
GOES
FOR
THE
KIDS.

Guys,

I used set the barometer for how well I'm mothering on how well my kids are doing.

But my kids will have good days and bad days and average days,

with days that might turn into weeks, seasons, or even years.

And I, too, will have the same;

with plenty of days having me be a great parent in one minute,

just to be a giant fudgin' flop in the next.

So now I set the barometer for how well I'm mothering on how well I'm doing.

And the key here,

well,

it's that I repetitively tell myself,

"I'm doing the best I can...and it's plenty enough."