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The Mommy "It" Factor: Why It's Dangerous

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If you haven't heard of the Mommy "It" Factor yet, it's because I coined the term this morning. Or maybe I read it in passing somewhere. Nonetheless, it's a concept worth discussing.

The Mommy "It" Factor, to me, is that thing that some moms just have in the realm of parenting.

They usher their kids into restaurants calmly and cooly. They walk hand-in-hand with their well-dressed toddler down Main Street, smiling as they stroll. They playfully bounce one child on their lap as they stroke the back of their other child who is sitting quietly eating her broccoli.

In sum, the Mommy "It" Factor is a way of parenting that comes so easily to them -- so predetermined -- that you don't know whether to love it or hate it when you witness it.

I think it's fair to admit that motherhood comes more naturally for some than for others.

That said, moms with a knack for homemade brownie making are no better than moms handing their baby off to a high-school babysitter so they can get their nails done.

The danger in this is falling into a comparison trap. Much like, well, exactly like the portrayal of mommy influencers we subject ourselves to in the distressing environment that is the Internet.

I am in the midst of a severe Instagram following cleanse, and am finding myself deleting the coveted momfluencers and lifestyle "experts" before any other category embedded in the social media outlet due to the impossibleness of it all -- the color-coordinated, curated perfection and millions of "fans" these women have is making me question the validity of their content.

Are they posting stories of themselves getting their hair done at an expensive salon to credit their hairdresser, or show the world that they can afford a $600 cut and color? Are new moms posting pictures of their "mom bod" -- no matter how fit or unfit it may be -- because it's the trendy thing to do right now? Or is it an actual attempt to raise awareness about body image issues?

In the wake of this confusing on and offline nonsense, I am excited to announce, according to a very credible source in the personal branding space, that the wonderful and weird world of social media is moving toward a place of quality over quantity, meaning it will soon no longer matter how many followers you have. What will matter is the building of smaller, more niche communities where people are actually going to ENGAGE with one another on topics they want to delve into, not just bring up for the sake of buzzwords and potential double-taps.

Until that time comes, I will be designating my feed for individuals and brands that are unquestionably doing the right thing. Not just talking (or posting) about doing the right thing.

My advice? Fill not only your feed, but your life, with people who uplift you. It really is that simple.

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Cheers!

Ashley

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