The positive test,

the confirmation of the beautiful life flourishing inside of you.

the confirmation that all of those crazy feelings you were having were just what you suspected..

What you hoped for…

The go-ahead to start dreaming,

To start planning,

To start picking out names,

To start anticipating the kicks inside of your womb,

To start dreaming of what this baby’s face will look like,

And what color hair she will have,

What her personality will be like,

What her older sisters will think of her….

The positive test,

The only physical sign you can hold when you lose a baby in an early miscarriage.

The only evidence that there was a life inside of you,

Because you never had the chance to see her heart beat or her body move...

The positive test,

The now painful reminder that even though you held that baby inside for a short while,

She isn’t there anymore…..

The positive test,

The thing I’ve prayed for for so many years of my life…

The thing that gave me such joy,

But now leaves me sorrowful….

The positive test,

I mourn the loss of what you once showed me.

But,

I praise the Lord that I had the chance to celebrate you,

If even only for a short time.