I’m sitting in a lab writing this, waiting to get what feels like my 100th set of labs drawn this week.

I’ve been struggling through this miscarriage obstacle for over a month now.

Miscarriage feels like a game. Playing with my heart. Something that the Joker or the guy from the Saw movies would intentionally do to somebody.

Miscarriage is deleting any evidence and photos off your phone. Deleting the pictures you took of positive pregnancy tests. The pictures you took of your possible announcement photos.

Miscarriage is going to work and taking frequent bathroom breaks looking for your gestational sac every time you go.

Miscarriage is going to the lab, and the phlebotomist trying to get around all of your previous vein poke spots this week.

Miscarriage is being asked if this is almost over for you, and when it will be done... and not having any idea what the answer is.

It’s being asked “so when are you having another baby?!” over and over again while you’re in the midst of passing one.

Miscarriage is telling somebody your story and almost ALL of these women saying, “I’ve been there, too.”

Miscarriage is being asked if you're pregnant at you doctors office and replying with, “it’s complicated” .

Miscarriage is bleeding through your clothes, and your daughter asking “mommy, do you have a boo boo?”

Miscarriage is losing your baby, and being expected to proceed on with your normal life like nothing happened because “it happens”.

To the pregnancy and infant loss moms out there, I see you. I am you.