"How does she do it all?" We all have asked this question over and over as we feel completely overwhelmed and yet the mom we see at school seems so put together.

Asking this question usually leads us down the path of searching for the best planner, best apps, and organizational systems. As I write this, I have three planners in my home, all of them for this current year. Yet, I am using one of them.

At the core of why I purchased them all was because I thought if I just had the right system I could do more.

Can you relate?

When talking to friends, I know I am not alone in this. We all are wondering what the secret is. We see glimpses of someone else's life and think there must be a magical trick.

Today, I am here to tell you that I did find the magical trick. The big secret to doing it all is that you do not do it all.

Yes, you read that right.

While there are many systems and resources that help us manage our time well and stay organized, we first have to realize that we cannot do it all. No one is doing it all and if she says she is, then she is lying.

We simply were not created to do it all. As unique individuals, we each have wonderful and unique gifts. Each of us are going to pursue different things and focus more on different areas of life. We cannot do it all because we are not created with the ability to do it all.

So what do we do instead? Instead of striving to do it all, we can focus on a few things and do them well.

A few questions you can ask to help with this?

Where are your priorities?

What are the key relationships in your life? Personally, mine are my relationship with God, my husband, my kids and then everything else goes from there. When my priorities get shifted, life starts to go out of balance.

What is your current season of life looking like?

How many kids do you have? What is your job? Do you have any big life changes coming up? Think through all of these things. In different seasons, we are going to be adjusting how much we take on. Figure out what is important in your current season and then focus on that. Keep it simple and be realistic. Don’t look at your friend’s life and try to do what she is doing. We can gain ideas and insight from others, but ultimately we have to figure out what works for our families.

What can you say no to?

It is vital that we learn to say no to things, yes even good things. We cannot say yes to everything and live a healthy life. Take time every week to evaluate the upcoming week and determine if you need to let go of anything.

What can I say yes to?

On the other hand, we want to say yes to things. There will be things that are obligations or commitments, but then there is the extra. In these little cracks of time, think of doing some things that truly bring you joy. What do you love to do?

Are you ready to step into freedom from feeling stretched to thin? Before you buy another planner or set up a system, follow these simple truths. Then after you are letting go of doing it all, find the right system to help you maintain what you choose to do. And the next time you see the friend who appears to be doing it all remember, she isn't. Everyone has areas they let go in order to focus more on other areas.