When they lose a parent, most people can’t believe that life can go on the way it does. I grew up with the popular song of Skeeter Davis - ‘The end of the world’ and I can relate to some of the lyrics in her song.

I’ve lost both my parents now, and for me, death empties your heart, it is totally life-changing, I want to prepare my kids now, maybe just so that they know more of what to expect than what I did.

Show appreciation today as tomorrow may be too late

Your memories of tomorrow are created by what you do and say today. I’m teaching my sons to appreciate us as parents today so that they’ve got positive memories to tide them over when we’re no longer there.

People always say you’ll have the memories to carry you through, but I found that the memories I as actually aggravated my sense of loss. Christmas or birthdays still bring unbearable nostalgia because of the memories - like a song over the radio or a dried flower found in the pages of a book. These are all reminders of the past and the unbearable pain of loss I still feel.

Keep the spirit of your parents alive

I regret not keeping my parent’s ashes and I want my sons to know about the possibility of keeping our spirits alive once we’re gone. It is why Memorials.com has been written in my ‘funeral requests’ for them to look at. They’ll have no problem choosing the best funeral urns for cremation ashes and they can take their town browsing on the website to find the right way to memorialize us.

Funeral urns come in different sizes, shapes and materials and they can be left as-is or they can be personalized with engraving. As it is, urns are usually categorized to simplify the selection process. I know my sons will choose the proper urn for our ashes and they’ll know whether to keep it at home or at a mausoleum. I feel as if in this regard, they’re prepared at least.

Try not to wallow in self-pity

In times of deep sorrow when losing a parent, one must guard against the danger of being enveloped in self-pity. This week marks 3 years since my mom passed away and we were immensely close so that when she passed away and then 8 months later my day, I was gutted to the extent that I believe no-one could understand.

Morose and wallowing in self-pity is exactly how I was after my parents passed away – wallowing in self-pity so that some of my friends and family stopped asking me out. I was just too miserable to be around. Mine was definitely a case of behavior in times of sorrow accentuating my less noble characteristics. I’ll tell my kids that it’s ok to mourn and experience deep sorrow, but for a short time only, because life simply has to be picked up and continued.

After both my parents died, I couldn’t know what the rest of my life had in store for me. I certainly believed that life could never be pleasurable or normal again, but as I reflect on the past 3 years, I know now that the sun can shine again. I’m determined to tell my sons that after dad and I are gone, when sorrow threatens to overwhelm them, the idea is to pick up all the pieces simply because they have a responsibility towards themselves, their families and even life itself.