This crying thing, it's kind of a daily occurrence.

But don't worry about me, I'm fine.

No, really, I AM FINE.

I promise.

It's just that this whole living through a pandemic,

parenting through one,

managing distance-learning for three varied-aged kids,

socially distancing,

and not having retail shopping or indoor eating as an option for stress relief,

it's got me taxed to the max.

I know what you're thinking...

Fourth-grade math isn't that hard

-- except that it is 'cause I don't remember sh*t about multiples, primes, factors, or fractions.

And why the heck am I complaining about monitoring a circle time and helping teach early math and the alphabet?

Because my youngest will start Kindergarten next year, and I want her to be up to speed and not fall behind thanks to me.

And helping someone learn to read and write, thoroughly and well, it doesn't sound all that challenging, right?

Except that it is, especially when your first-grader lacks full motivation or a consistent desire to expand their skills because schooling from home and not being with their peers, well, it ain't really doing it for them.

For us, mamas, it is truly just that hard to be everything to everyone all at once,

and to make sure we're doing it at an acceptable volume as not to disrupt our spouse who is working from home,

and that the WiFi is working,

meals are being cooked,

laundry is being done,

the house is getting cleaned,

and that we're taking care of any other work we might have or want to complete.

I'd be lying to you if I said I haven't cried a whole hell of a lot since mid-March, but I'd also be lying to you if I contended that these days aren't

changing me,

helping me,

improving me,

and aiding me in becoming a

better,

more resilient,

more adaptable,

more open-minded,

stronger,

faith-filled,

and grateful human.

The days can feel long, no doubt.

Sometimes a day will test me.

Sometimes a day will break me.

But I'm blessed as fudge to occupy this looney house with four beautiful and incredible individuals who remind me every evening how I don't just mean the world to them, but that I am their world, and that they thank God they are in mine.

So yeah, this crying thing, it's kind of a daily occurrence.

I cry

morning,

mid-day,

and bewitching hour cries of frustration and exhaustion,

and I cry nighttime tears of

guilt and gratitude,

as I suspect many mothers do.

No one ever said being a mama was easy,

but it's easy to see why God made mamas,

as there is no other cohort of humans on this planet that could do what they do day in and day out.

Remind any mama you know that you don't just see her, but that you respect the hell out of her, and you're there for her.