Parenting can be contentious.

A lot is going on. We can get caught up in the nitty-gritty: the baby’s screaming, while the toddler peed on the floor, and WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE HELPFUL?

We all find ourselves here.

In this stressful place that can pit partner against partner.

This place, where we want to pounce on our partner-- but not in a good way.

It’s so easy to slide into this.

Well, today when I was in it, and he started talking to me, instead of being distracted by the kids, or my current hate fire for him, I looked at him--

not past him,

but at him.

I looked into his deep brown eyes. Those eyes that once attracted me to him, now remind me of my oldest daughter because she has the same eyes. Those eyes have taken on a much deeper meaning, but so has our whole relationship.

I looked at his mouth move. His face was peaceful, which I admired—he’s not a ball of stress and anxiety like myself. I listened to his story, which was so him in the best way possible—one of the many reasons I love him—and I smiled wide.

I then did something unexpected. I maneuvered around the kids and embraced him in a hug.

“I love you,” I whispered in his ear.

Because I do.

You see, I decided to take that opportunity to tell him how I felt.

I do this with my kids all the time, but not him—

because who has the time?

But we have to start making time.

Because we can’t forget each other.

Us is where it started.

Us is who our kids are looking up to.

They’re watching us interact,

especially in the chaos.

As parents, we set the mood for our entire family.

Because they’re watching us roll our eyes and mumble under our breaths.

And of course, we don’t mean it.

We’re in the thick of parenting, and it’s hard.

But, the next time you’re stuck in a hate fire,

really listen,

and give grace,

because it’ll extinguish those bad feelings.

And your entire family will feel it.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId