One thing I quickly learned from attending my first blogger event in my city, was that although I considered myself a true blogger, had published articles and an active blog, was that I didn’t fit in at all. I had anticipated networking with other writers, and moms, like me. In actuality, the event was full of ladies who were dominating social media in the area, through what I consider the most visual and powerful platform out there, Instagram. They are fashion, beauty and lifestyle bloggers, and as expected, they were perfectly made-up, manicured, and on trend. Many of them were a decade younger than me. They are some of the most creative, supportive, and positive women I have met in my thirty-two years of life, in person, but especially online. The rest of the internet should take a cue.

I would not have blamed any one of them if they had no interest in getting to know me or supporting my blog once they found out they had little to nothing in common with me, being that I am technically a “mom blogger.” At this time, my blog’s social media extensions were still a work in progress. My photos weren’t flashy or filtered, and I didn’t know how to play the Instagram game. Still, not long after the event, one of these ladies whom I connected with was able to find something nice to say about a particular picture I posted, “love your hat girl.”

Instagram influencers and fashion bloggers can unfortunately get misrepresented as “just taking selfies”, because sometimes they post selfies, “not really bloggers”, because sometimes there is not written content to support the visual content that they post, or “fake” because their messages, comments, and support within their online community can seem unrealistically positive. Selfies that are posted often are to show a particular look, we aren’t living in the stone age where written content is the only type of meaningful or stimulating content, and in my opinion, real positivity or fake, the rest of the internet could use more of it.

I recently had an experience where an individual with a high following on social media, used a published article of mine to show her stance on a particular popular topic that she felt strongly about. She opposed my writing and my opinions, and as a result, I was personally attacked and insulted by her following. If an Instagram Influencer wears a particular accessory that doesn’t fit my style, or a clothing style that doesn’t fit my body type, it doesn’t take much on my end to resist the urge to get personally offended. To keep positivity present within the online community, I simply don’t comment on it, or point out something in the photo I do like. If it is not acceptable to attack someone for what they are wearing or how they look, then it should not be okay to negatively criticize someone for their thoughts or what they write.

As a mom of two who has connected with other moms, both on and offline, it seems the common goal is for us to do our best to raise our kids to be kind. We want them to show compassion through their actions and words in hopes that this one day translates through what they type. But we, as parents and as adults have to be as good. Besides, kindness is cool, or at least that’s what you’ll find these days on the graphic tees in the toddler section in Target.

It is absolutely true that for some Fashion Bloggers and Influencers, their popularity, following, and interaction is directly linked to a paycheck, through a branded Instagram post or partnership. For them, it literally pays to be positive. Not to say that this isn’t their natural online disposition anyway. For the rest of the community, who may just enjoy fashion, blog as a hobby or in hopes one day making it into a career, unrelenting words of love, support, and positivity is part of the gig. There is a widely accepted theory that thoughts and words directly impact actions and feelings, in turn influencing attitude and the way we live our lives. Imagine if all, or just if more of these thoughts and words were positive, happy, or encouraging. The internet would be a much nicer place to be. Ask any Fashion Blogger and she’ll agree, not making anyone feel bad that she may know more than the rest of us about living on the internet in a happy place and not to mention, doing so in a killer pair of heels.