Twas the night before school
and all up in this grill
children were swinging from chandeliers
and my voice was shrill.

I am exhausted
and they have to pee.
I just took an extra Zoloft
and daddy’s watching TV.

Setting the alarm clock
pisses me off
but a few hours of solace
is a lovely trade off.

Did you fill out the paper?
Have you packed the lunchbox?
Where is the stapler?
There are no matching socks.

Mom, where’s my physical?
I have no f-ing clue.
Is this typical?
Or maybe you, too?

Go to bed
Get plenty of rest.
Tomorrow morning
will be your big test.

Put your big girls pants on
Chug plenty of coffee.
Drop those mofos off and
shout c'est la vie!

And, here’s to the teachers
welcoming them back to it.
We marvel at your strength
and think you’re the sh**.

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