We snuggled in tight the way we always do at night. Him beside me throwing his arm over me stroking my hair. This night was different. This would be the last night at home before I left to take our boy to his new home in Waco, Texas 2,140 miles away {but who's counting}. Aidan and I were checked in for our flight, the bags were all packed and the alarm was set for 3:30 am. He whispered to me "we did good."
Things could have been so much different. I got pregnant at 19 while I was a sophomore in college. We had been dating for only ten months, but still I knew from the moment I met my husband that this was the man that God wanted me to marry. Things just rushed ahead a little faster than we might have planned. We heard often from surprised family and friends that we were doing a good job as parents.
My mom commented that I took to motherhood like a duck to water. Why do I remember that? I guess, we needed those affirmations as young parents. We had a lot to prove. We wanted to do it right even when we had no idea what we were doing.
It's been just a few short days since I left my first born son in Waco. I spent several full days getting him settled into his new town, moving him into his new dorm and helping him navigate college book buying. I even walked campus with him so that he could find out where all of his classes were.
I spent days spouting off whatever motherly advice I felt like I hadn't given him in his 17 years whenever it would come into my mind. The days and then the hours started ticking down until it was time for me to leave. Had I not had a flight to catch, I would probably still be lingering around the vicinity of him in Waco, Texas, looking for some reason to stay. I have been preparing myself for over a year to what it would be like to say goodbye, which is why I think that maybe it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to give him that final hug. It also helps knowing that my husband and I will be visiting him in just a few short months once he gets settled in a bit.
Why is saying goodbye to our college kids so hard?
I have a hair dryer that has a retractable cord. That cord goes in with the touch of a button and comes out to your desired length when you pull it. There is a little red piece of tape that indicates if you have pulled the cord out too far. Parenting is a little like that retractable cord. At first, that cord is in real tight. As your kids get older, that cord keeps getting longer and longer as your kids start to travel through life more independently of you. This week, that cord hit the red zone. I'm all out of retractable cord to pull out. This season of our life is done. This phase went by so slowly and yet seemed to finish in an instant.
It's knowing that the deep end stuff is coming that's hard. It's knowing that there will be times when he's alone on his own having to struggle to find his way up for air. We can only pray that we have given him the skills he needs to be able to ask for help. As we sat there sipping coffee I told that I know that there will be many times that he will succeed, but there will also be many times that he will fail. It's called grace and that he should use his failures and learn from them and become humble by them.
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