DO YOU SEE WHO I SEE?

The boy in the corner, the one facing the wall and looking down...

he's somebody's son.

The girl at lego center, the one stomping her feet and clenching her fists...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy at the lunch table, the one that is pushing his food around, but not really eating it...

he's somebody's son.

The girl at the front of the line, the one who only arrived there by forcing her way and pushing her peers...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy who is nonverbal, autistic, has a learning disability, behavior or mental disorder, is anxious or who suffers from any number of unobservable-on-the-surface illnesses...

he's somebody's son.

The girl who feels sad, weak, and confused, the one who feels "all the feelings" which make her feel out of control...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy who is a bully, the one who is a straight-up jerk to others...

he's somebody's son.

The girl who is a tyrant, the one who runs around intimidating those around her...

she's somebody's daughter.

BUT, DO YOU SEE WHO ELSE I SEE?

The boy approaching the other boy in the corner -- the one that was facing the wall and looking down -- and engaging him with well-being questions, like "Hey, Buddy, are you okay?"...

he's somebody's son.

The girl going up to the other girl at Lego center -- you know, the one that was stomping her feet and clenching her fists -- and asking her if she wants to talk or if she'd like a hug...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy heading to sit next to the boy at the lunch table -- the one who was pushing his food around, but not really eating it -- and then selflessly offering to share in conversation and, so graciously, his lunch pack...

he's somebody's son.

The girl who is now second in line -- who allowed the girl that forced and pushed her way to the front to take and keep that spot -- being understanding and accepting that for some reason that other little person has a strong need for that coveted first spot position...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy who is talking to the boy -- the one who is nonverbal, autistic, has a learning disability, behavior or mental disorder, who suffers anxiety or from any number of unobservable-on-the-surface illnesses -- because he is a person and, quite simply, in addition to loving people, we talk to them...

he's somebody's son.

The girl who is offering up a listening ear to the other girl -- the one who feels sad, weak, confused, seemingly out of control and feeling "all the feelings" -- because she can empathize with the carrying the weight of one's emotions...

she's somebody's daughter.

The boy who is the target of the bully -- the one who is a straight-up jerk to others -- who refuses to retaliate with hate of his own and instead responds to the other guy with empathy and by using his words...

he's somebody's son.

The girl who is befriending the diva tyrant -- the one trying to intimidate others -- and squashing her attempts at overarching control, by inquiring, listening and then using her voice to support, encourage and inspire...

she's somebody's daughter.

DO YOU SEE WHO I SEE?

The mom in the corner, the one facing the wall and looking down.

The dad in the Lego aisle of Target, stomping his feet and clenching his fists.

The mom at her office lunch table, the one that is pushing her food around, but not really eating it.

The dad at the front of the line, the one who only arrived there, by forcing his way, pushing past her, you and him.

The mom who is quiet, depressed, anxious, or who suffers from any number of unobservable-on-the-surface illnesses.

The dad who feels sad, weak, and confused, the one who is feeling "all the feelings" which makes him feel out of control and less like a "real man."

The mom who is a bully, the one who is a straight-up jerk, acting all "mean girl" to the other women she knows.

The dad who is a tyrant in his home, the one who runs around intimidating his children.

BUT, DO YOU SEE WHO ELSE I SEE?

The mom going up to the other mom -- the one in the corner who is facing the wall and looking down -- taking her hand and telling her, "it will be alright" and "I'm here to help."

The dad going up to the other dad -- the one who is stomping his feet and clenching his fists in the Lego aisle of Target -- and offering up some encouragement and advice, like reminding him that it's not a bad life, just a challenging day.

The mom deciding to sit with the other mom -- the one at the lunch table who is pushing her food around, but not really eating it -- despite the awkward environment because she understands the benefit of quiet support.

The dad who is now second in line because he allowed the mom --who forced and pushed her way to that spot -- to take it over because a first place spot is not all that important.

The mom befriending the other mom -- the one who is quiet, depressed, anxious, or who suffers from any number of unobservable-on-the-surface illnesses -- because friendship makes both people better.

The dad who is forcing conversations with the other dad -- the one who feels sad, weak, and confused and who feel "all the feelings" which makes him feel out of control and less manly -- because he believes in the power of talking through our emotions to regain control of them.

The mom who is the target of the other mom -- the one who is a bully and engages in "mean girl" antics -- standing up for herself in a respectful manner and responding with empathy and understanding instead of anger and retaliation.

The dad who is taking the time to converse with the other dad -- the one who is a tyrant in his home and who runs around intimidating his children -- intending to try to understand him, while softly encouraging him to utilize and implement more positive parenting techniques instead.

DO YOU SEE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE THAT I SEE?

I hope you see them.

We all need to see them.

He is my son.

He is your son.

She is my daughter.

She is your daughter.

I am that mom.

You are that mom.

He is that dad.

You are that dad.

Parents -

We need to be intentional about the example we are setting for our children who will, in a way unique to them, carry on our attitude, traits, and actions into their being, their everyday behavior and their general way of living.

If we want to raise kind children, we must be kind.

If we want to raise respectful children, we must not only give our children respect but show it to all people, at all times.

If we want our children to understand people, we must make an effort to connect with others, mainly by listening and exercising understanding.

If we want for our children to develop into and remain "good" humans, then we must emulate for them what that looks and sounds like.

If we want our children to be happy, then we must teach them how to be present, mindful, empathetic and full of gratitude.

If we want our children to get comfortable with failure (and we should), then we must never wallow in our mistakes, but rather leap off our missteps like stepping stones.

While I am fully aware that some of how children turn out is out of our hands as parents, I'll be damned if while mine are in my hands, I'm not doing everything in my power to work on myself and the example I am setting for them.

Why?

So that if they ever ask me,

"Hey, Ma! DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?"

I can respond with,

"Yes, yes I do, kid. I see human beings loving and helping each other, and my child, it makes me feel just as good as you."