Our big kids still do almost nothing outside these walls, so when a cousin-who-is-in-our-pod ski trip had to be canceled because someone was once again awaiting COVID results I braced myself for all the feelings this would bring from the kid who would be missing yet another thing.

But the angst and outburst never came, instead, it was replaced with first, “Are they OK?” And second, “That’s alright mom, I get it. That’s just how life is now.”
Guys, we need to be freaking proud of our big kids.

The maturity and perspective growing in them is a thing that can come only from living through struggle.

They have lived with loneliness, with anxiety, with the weight of unfair expectations, with dreams dashed and dreams deferred and yet somehow find they can indeed make it through.

They have lived through failing and picking themselves back up and realizing failing isn’t the worst thing that can happen by a long shot.

They have lived through sacrificing their own wants for others’ needs and realizing their choices matter and they make a difference.

I look at our tall kids and so much they have waited for has just really never happened for them. Some of it now never will.
And yet, they keep going.

They look ahead and take another step each and every day. They sit up in bed. They log back in. They try and make a plan. They scrap that plan and try again.

They say they are trying to keep their parents and grandparents safe and my heart breaks with the beauty of this sacrifice.

We need to remind them of all the ways they are killing it because seriously their frontal lobes have not totally developed and their perspective cannot always see the long game.

We need to tell them they are rock stars. We need to point out the good we see in them. We need to be the ones to say we appreciate the work they are doing when their work feels invisible.

And I will say this, I’m way more ready to send mine back out into the world armed with the lessons they have learned. Because these lessons mean they looking ahead with clearer eyes that also appreciate so much about home and family and with hearts that have learned to rise to the occasion again and again.

They have learned it’s OK to say things are just crappy and sad and they can trust we can bear the weight of their sorrows and catch them again and again and again. They can do hard things and they know life doesn’t have to look shiny and perfect which is really just a relief for us all.

Our kids are emerging as older and wiser versions of themselves.
I wouldn’t choose a second of what we have been through but my heart is grateful for every lesson we have learned.

To our big kids...we see you and we think you are just amazing.

Amy

Originally published on Hiding in the Closet with Coffee on Facebook.