I’m a single mother with three kids to take care of. The oldest of them is now twelve years old. I would tell you how I ended up with three kids to raise on my own, but I don’t want to make all of us cry. I’ll just leave that part to your imagination.

How things started

Anyway, I have three kids and I want what is best for them, always. Which is why I started working while they are at school.

I’m pretty good at graphic design, so I started working as a freelancer doing book covers, infographics, basic logos, that sort of thing. It doesn’t pay a fortune, but it brings in some extra revenue for the family.

Thing is, I don’t even have to work. I invested the money I earned from my husband’s life insurance policy. The return on that investment is enough to cover the house expenses, as long as we keep said expenses low.

I was in a privileged position, but I choose to work because I felt awful doing nothing. I wanted to do everything I could for my children, at all times. Which is wonderful, but it can go too far.

Too much of a good thing

You see, the problem with freelance work is that, once you establish yourself, you will often get more offers than you can handle. Which for me meant I was spending every free second of the day working on the computer. That was in between maintaining the house and taking care of all three kids. I even started pulling all-nighters several times a week.

It felt good, you know? To work so hard. To see the results. I enjoyed being able to buy my family nicer things; able to take them out for pizza every so often with just my work money.

But it was also nerve-wracking. So much to do. So many deadlines, so much pressure. I tried to push through it all, and then… I started having panic attacks.

If that sounds sudden to you, just imagine how sudden it felt to me.

How I handled it

I took a break from work right away. I felt so stupid, you know? Sitting on top of a throne of financial security, I still managed to work myself into having panic attacks. Dear God.

I decided to learn more. I started looking into anxiety, which led me to the world of self-help and personal development.

If you want to get a taste of what I’m talking about, I found an article on Anivda.com that covers the basics of what I learned.

Turns out I had been working without a clear aim or endpoint in mind. I also had been neglecting self-care.

What I decided to do

You see, when you take on any task, you need to have a clear end goal in mind. A win-condition, if you will. Otherwise, you won’t know when to stop and you won’t know whether you have succeeded or not.

Since then, I figured out how much extra money was enough money to make me and my kids happy, and I set that as my weekly limit. So now I work until I earn that X amount of money, or until I reach 20 hours of work that week. Whatever comes first.

Finally, I promised myself I’d make time for a night out with my friends at least twice a month. Turns out I need to treat relaxing as an obligation. Otherwise, I keep postponing it.

Postponing self-care is something I will never do again. Have you ever had a panic attack? I’ve only had two, and that was enough. I never want to go through one of those again.