Where do I go to find my mom tribe?

Seriously...where?!

Is there some secret initiation at Chick-Fil-A in the middle of the lunch rush? Or, do I just show up to the park on a Saturday?

How do I go about finding moms like me?

The moms who don't wash their hair for 5 days, wear mismatched pajamas around their house and have decided to only wear makeup when absolutely necessary. And no, trips to Target no longer warrant a full face, even though I'm certain I'll see everyone I know.

The moms who love their kids more than life one minute, and would happily donate them to any willing stranger the next! Oh, you think they're cute? Well take them with you. Trust me, you will bring them back, especially the little one.

The moms who plan perfect park days, aquarium days and museum days in their heads, and then are too tired and too stressed to actually see them through. Just the anxiety of imagining all of the things that could go wrong while you're out alone in a large public place with them is enough to keep you at home all day.

The moms who desperately want to lose weight, but find so much happiness and stress relief inside of a Krispy Kreme box. In my feelings challenge...more like eat my feelings challenge. KK, do you love me?! Because I love you too much to ever let you go!

The moms who show up to your messy house and feel like they're at home. They're not judgemental because they are your soul sisters. Their homes are littered with toys, juice boxes, and goldfish crackers, just like yours. They throw their feet up on the ottoman, cup of coffee in hand, and join you in gossip and watching your children destroy what's left of your home.

The moms who run on coffee and prayers. Caffiene is necessary to get the day started. Jesus is needed to survive everything else. Let's also pray we don't run out of coffee!

Where are the moms who don't sugarcoat their lives? Like me, they love their husbands, but they don't always like them. They also don't pretend when it comes to their children. Little Sally is a whiney cry baby who makes you want to empty out your liquor cabinet regularly and little Johnny is meaner than a snake, always biting, slapping and kicking the other children at playdates.

Where are the moms who feel like Wonder Woman one minute, and utter failures the next? Some days you're kicking butt and taking names; you've got your scheduled sorted, your grocery shopping is done for the week, you prepare gourmet meals, and you get the kids to bed by 9. The next, you're searching frantically for your car keys so you're not late to school drop off, you realize AFTER you sit down that you're completely out of toilet paper, and your kids are eating Spaghettios for dinner because you forgot to thaw the chicken.

Where are you, mamas? I need you. I need to know I'm not in this alone. Teach me the secret handshake, invite me to the potluck. I just need my initiation already. I've been home alone with these kids far too long, and I fear they are sucking the last bit of sanity I have left out of me! Call me, text me, send me some smoke signals, whatever is more convenient for you. Just find me before it's too late!

P.S.- If I don't respond immediately, don't give up on me. I'm probably just in the shower, finally washing my hair.

Glamour shot included so you go into this fully aware of what/who you're signing up for.

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