“What are you guys doing this morning?” My dad asked

“I took the kids for a walk.”

“That’s crazy but good for you. I mean, it’s freezing.”

It’s been a long winter for us moms.

And those of us who were struggling at all before the pandemic are basically drowning now. Because we have no mental, physical, or emotional support, so wouldn't we all drown?

Between covid and snow-filled playgrounds, it's hard to find anything to do with our kids.

And us moms, we're feeling it big time because we're spending the bulk of our time indoors alone with our kids: changing diapers, cleaning up snacks, and doing loads of laundry.

And the days have become longer and repetitive with no more escapes like music and gym classes where we can interact with ANYONE.

So, every day, unless there’s a winter storm, I bundle my kids up: mittens, warm coats, hats, and we go outside.

We take walks.

I carry the baby on my front and push my two daughters in a car.

And every person I pass without fail says, “you’ve got your hands full," because gosh, I know I look like that crazy mom you tell your mom friend about.

But I’m “that crazy mom" outside because the crazy mom inside is far worse. Trust me.

Because that mom trapped inside her house all day suffers greatly with her mental health.

She cleans while her kids continue to make a mess. And her anxiety spikes thinking about all the things she needs to do once the kids go down because she can’t seem to keep up. And the day crawls along as her patience for her kids' behavior dwindles while she questions if she’s a good enough mom.

She spirals.

But the walk in fresh air and nature improves her mood in a moment.

The outdoors relieves her stress, depression, and anxiety.

It helps her feel alive again.

So I'll keep being “that crazy mother” for the next couple of weeks,

you know, the one with her hands so full.

Because I’m carrying the weight of THE EVERYTHING,

and I need that time outside, so I don’t break.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId