I am quite guilty of adding "Bad" to my title. You will hear me say, "I'm a Bad Mom", or "I'm a Bad Wife". But if you are like me, it's time for both of us to stop.
We are not doing ourselves any favors by bringing down our worth. Our value to the people around us. We are not innately bad, we can just make some bad choices, or drop the ball sometimes.
Lately I've seen mamas calling themselves bad moms for things that are natural parenting mistakes such as not getting the laundry done, or forgetting to send something to school with their child. And moms aren't the only people guilty of this; so are dads.
Self-talk is important. Not just for our children, but for ourselves. When we say we are bad we are devaluing ourselves in a way that is detrimental to our children and those around us. It also makes us feel less than we are, which can perpetuate the cycle of making bad choices or forgetting important things. Instead, we should acknowledge we made a mistake, rather than stating we are the mistake. By admitting we've made a mistake, we can resolve the issue, apologize for any shortcoming, and rectify the situation. This allows for healing, positive role modeling, and adaptation for future improvements.
In case you have not heard this yet today, we all make mistakes! As parents we can sometimes feel excessive remorse for the mistakes we make. We feel like not packing our child a snack was not acceptable and will impact our child's entire day. The stress of yelling at our children when the moment gets the best of us will eat us alive!
My sweet, but quite sassy daughter, A, and our 9 month old, B, were home with me today. I changed B's diaper and pants (because blow outs seem inevitable) then set him down on the floor while I washed my hands and took care of some things. A was playing with him. I noticed his socks were no longer on his feet. I got so frustrated with her because I was sure she took them off of him and now couldn't find them. Guess what? I took them off. They were on the changing table. I felt horrible! And once again, labeled myself a bad mom.
But today, after that incident I reminded myself I am not a bad mom, I just made a mistake. And, I made a decision at that time. A good decision. It's time to stop with the negative labels. It's time, with the clean slate of a new year, to change the way I talk and perceive myself. This is the year to focus on acknowledging that I make mistakes, but I am not a mistake!
Today is your day to stop labeling yourself, and start focusing on more positive self-talk with me! Our children are watching us. We want them to learn and talk about themselves with a kinder manner.
You are not a bad parent! We all make mistakes, and that's okay.