Photo credit: Charles J – Unsplash

You finally feel like the pregnant lady you are when…

… You scarf down your emergency snack (or – let’s be honest – anything you can find... and, yes, you have an emergency snack stash... in multiple locations…) even though it’s almost dinner time... and you’re in line... at a drive-thru... while waiting for more food

… You shriek so loud your partner comes running to check on you... only to find the cause of the commotion was that you dropped the last of the Easter candy on the floor and, unfortunately for you, the 5-second rule just doesn’t seem as reasonable while pregnant

… You muster up the energy to tackle the laundry, but end up creating even more of a mess, leaving a trail of socks all up and down the hallway because it’s just too much work to pick them up

… Your partner no longer needs an alarm clock – instead they have you, grunting as you do a log roll to the edge of the bed and try to find a way to uncomfortably raise to a seated position (this counts as morning exercise, right?)

… Picking something up off the floor becomes an incredibly daunting (and time-consuming) task, with 5 distinct stages: 1) mentally preparing a strategy, 2) deciding and committing to actually go for it, 3) the squat, 4) the pause-and-rest when you reach the ground, and – finally – 5) the ascent

… You spend your lunch hour reading up on all things baby, while simultaneously daydreaming of baby, eating your newest food craving, and googling “cute lace-less shoes” because, among the many, many, many things it has taught you this far, pregnancy has shown you how inconvenient and overrated shoelaces are (slip-on shoes for the win!)

… You realize that truly no question is off limits to those mama friends you can call or text any time, day or night, with the most personal, silly, stupid, or bizarre questions you can think of, and you are oh so very very grateful for them

… You are on a first name basis with the receptionist at your doctor’s office, anxiously awaiting her appointment reminder call because it means you’re one day closer to hearing baby’s heartbeat again

… You realize you’ve removed “I” from your vocabulary, instead referring to yourself (with baby-in-belly) as “We” (as in, “of course We are hungry, We only had two breakfasts today,” or “why, yes, We would love a donut”)

… And, last but not least, you can’t stop thinking of your little one, wondering how it is that there was ever a time they weren’t in your life… and this is before you’ve ever even seen their face.

Originally posted on TheJoyfulosophy.com