Sometimes we need someone to give us permission that we just can't give ourselves.
When I was a new mom, I had postpartum. And I wasn't really aware of that until I had come out of it. During that time, everything was hard. Everything.
One of the things that was particularly hard for me was breastfeeding. I wanted to do it and did, but I think a large part of me doing it was because I wanted to be the perfect mom. There were certain things I required from myself and that was one of them. I wouldn't have thought any less of anyone else if they didn't breastfeed, but I would've thought less of myself. I would've felt like I failed. Because the idea of perfection can wreck us if we let it.
And my postpartum made breastfeeding even more challenging than it can already be, and I needed to give myself permission to use formula. But I couldn't.
It sounds silly now on the other side of things, but at the time, everything felt so heavy. And no one knew how I felt. I didn't tell anyone. But the truth is, I needed someone else to give me permission that I just couldn't give myself.
Finally, at three months old, the clouds started to part and I started supplementing with formula and it was a huge sigh of relief for me.
But, how I felt during that time has never left me. I often think about how disillusioned I felt during that time. How I so desperately needed someone else to give me permission that I just couldn't give myself.
So, I want to gift that to you today.
If things are feeling heavy. If you are finding it hard to keep up with your ideas of perfection and what it means to be a "perfect" mom. If you need to supplement what you're currently doing with something else so that you can have peace and rest. You can.
It won't make you less than. It won't make you any less worthy. It won't mean you're a failure.
The lie of perfection can trap you. Suffocate you. It can slowly kill you from the inside out.
You have permission not to live in that lie.
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