I recently filled out an employment application.

WHAT. A. TASK.

Trying to rack my 35-year-old, three-kid-tainted, energy-depleted brain to recall
the date I graduated,

my then g.p.a.,

and all my previous employment start and end dates.

It doesn't sound like much, BUT I haven't updated my resume and "worked for the man" since 2013.

That's eight years ago.

That's when my father passed.

That's when I moved from Virginia to Florida.

That's three rambunctious kids ago, the oldest of whom will be double-digits this June.

That's like a bajillion loads of laundry ago, 900 million meals, and a whole heck of a lot of prayers.

Wowza.

And it's a lot of life that has happened between then and now, and I ain't lying, so much personal growth; so much maturation as a human.

But how do I adequately convey that by noting "Stay-At-Home-Parent" where it asks, "What is your current position?"

It doesn't tell the whole story, does it?

I don't have a "supervisor" to direct you to who can paint you a better picture.

And for that reason, I really think that for SAHMS, we should be able to put our kids down as references.

So here are my kids, in their own words, telling you why anyone should hire me to do anything:

Payton (9): "You should hire my mom because she's really good at writing and she knows how to take care of people very well. She knows how to be nice and kind, and she's the best, and I love her."

Weston (7): "You should hire my mom because she is so nice, the best mom in the world, and I love her so much, and she is so good at everything."

Harper (5): "You should hire my mom because my mom is so great, and she is very good at being a grown-up. And she is very, very nice. Done."

Take it from the mouths of my babes --

I'm very, very nice,

I know how to take care of people,

I'm great,

good at everything

rand I'm very good at being a grown-up.

Boom.

Hired!

(I hope.)