My twins arrived at 25 weeks and 6 days. I arrived to the hospital in labor on November 1st at 6pm and my babies were born four and a half hours later. It was a whirlwind, as doctors went through the statistics of survival and long term affects. My babies weighed 2 pounds and dropped a half pound their first few days. Skin was translucent, eyes sealed shut, cartilage not yet formed, lungs underdeveloped, nervous system overly sensitive. I wasn't able to hold them. I broke down the night I left them in the hospital. This wasn't the plan. I went to Target to get nursing pads. Walking through the holiday baby clothes, I had the realization that their first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year....they'd all be celebrated in a NICU. I felt a disconnect from motherhood. How did I just walk out of the hospital and leave my children in the care of nurses I've never met. Yet, nurses I grew to accept as their first caretakers and ultimately view as my heroes. I had so much to learn as I studied the preemie manual provided though March if Dimes. Before I knew it, I was: kangaroo holding my babies, changing their tiny custom size diapers in between wires, providing stimulation during apnea spells, taking their temperatures, and partaking in therapy sessions. All in between the pumping sessions every three hours... In hopes of sustaining my milk supply. We overcame sepsis, holes in their hearts (PDA), collapsed lungs, eye problems (ROP), feeding tubes, and more. These little babies were reselient. I never doubted their survival. I trusted their doctors and nurses, and placed my trust in God. Today, they are smart, silly, loving, and talented 5 year olds. Blessed beyond belief!
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