If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me if I was dating someone I would be a millionaire. If I had another nickel for every time someone asked me if I wanted to get married I would be a billionaire. I’m a single mom. I get asked this all of the time. If you’re reading this, please don’t ask me or any other single parent if we’re dating or if we have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Here’s why
When people ask me that, sometimes I want to cry. Typically I’m exhausted trying to work, keep up the house, get my kids to activities, maintain the lawn, make time for friends, get to the gym, get my hair done, clean up after my animals, read, help my kids with homework, make time for God . . . . .you get the picture. I’m beyond stressed and stretched so thin. I don’t have time to think about a man nor even find the time or energy to go out and get him.
I personally have 3 kiddos more than half of the time & this includes every weekend – yes I said every. So, I just don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to dating. Men typically want a girl that is pretty available and not to be told ‘l have to go to my daughter’s game’ all of the time when they ask a girl to be available - especially on the weekend. for me, dating in the past has ended within a couple of months because of this.
Our world is full of messed up people and a lot of time those messed up individuals had parents who simply didn’t understand the magnitude of their job. I take my role as a mom so seriously. I’m very present. Our kiddos need us to be present. My kids are so important. Every day I feel such a huge weight to be the best mama I can be. My romantic life can wait, but they can’t. Time with them goes so fast . . .I have to give it my all.
The other day someone asked me if I get lonely? Why of course I do, thank you for asking. I’m lonely as I type this. Someone else asked me if I ever felt like the third wheel. Many, many times – too many to count and here is an example of a time I wanted to cry. Wouldn’t I like a life companion? Yes, of course I would like an adult to share my life with. But every night I’m exhausted from working two jobs to provide them with a good life or getting them to weekend activities or spending hours watching their games so finding the energy to go out and find a guy is not even a remote priority.
I always tell people that the kids and I are happy! They are doing great in school. They have wonderful friends, great athletic teams and they seem to be genuinely enjoying childhood. Why would I mess that up? A lot of kids of a single parent have already been through either a divorce or the death of a parent. This can often include moving and being asked to live with people they don’t want to live with. I don’t want my kids to have to deal with that just because I want to have a man to bring when I get asked to an event where everyone else is part of a couple.
So, if you’re still reading this then please don’t ask a single parent if they are dating, why they are not dating, if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, if they are lonely or feel like a third wheel please. It’s hard for us. We’re fighting the good fight as best we can.