BIG OL’ RANT ALERT🤬😬😬🤔🤨😡😡

If my son was actually attending school at the moment, he would be in 12th grade.
I’ve been home schooling him since a few months after he started the 9th grade...
This decision to home school wasn’t a decision I wanted to make. I quite literally had no choice in the matter.

Honestly, I never wanted to home school...ever..😐😐

The transition to high school wasn’t as smooth as I would have hoped (to put it mildly), and after a few weeks it was clear that his school wasn’t capable of handling his behaviors.

It was at what turned out to be the final IEP (individualized educational plan) meeting with the school, where the principal went down the seemingly never ending list of “behavioral issues” that needed to be addressed where it all came to a head.

While I understood these behaviors existed (after all, this was the whole reason he was transferred to this special school - which had an entire wing devoted to “special needs” students), I sat there confused. I felt as though I had done something wrong or that I wasn’t doing enough.
That these behaviors were my fault.

But as I said out loud in the middle of the meeting...”He is autistic! That’s why he comes here, because he struggles. What would you like me to do?? Unless I attend school with him, sit with him and hold his hand all day...what are you asking or wanting me to do?!”

The reply was one that I’ll never forget: “Well, maybe this just isn’t the right place for Logan...”
(There was no mention of an alternative...just that this wasn’t it.)

My stomach dropped but I knew then and there my hopes of him going to prom and maybe making a high school friend were over. When the head of a program says this to you, you lose all faith and can never take the risk of bringing your son back.

I was forced to take on the responsibility of educating my son at home and have been doing it for 4 years...all day every day.
(Keeping in mind, there is no curriculum to follow, there’s NOTHING!)
I reached out to the state, online groups, literally anyone I could think of asking how this would work and no one could tell me, NO ONE knew.

I made sure to document everything.
Kept records of every conversation showing that I tried everything I could to ensure I was doing this correctly, because we all hear those stories of the police showing up to your home when your child misses too many days of school😬😬
I was afraid of having to go to court and explain why he no longer attended. I was afraid of having to show a judge what “home school” for my son looked like (given there was nothing to go off of other then goals I made up myself and lists of “life skills” we would work on).
But NO ONE came.
No one even asked.
It felt as though no one reported it because this was much easier...just to forget he was ever a student.
Now it was no longer their problem.

Had my son been a typical teen, the police would have been called or at least the “truancy officer” (if that’s even really a thing?!) for excessive absences.
But “lucky us”...no one was too worried about it.

Exhausted, I reached out to the state looking for help in the home. That too (as usual) became a back and forth battle.
What’s worse is knowing that there are laws to protect special needs people, and that there are so many resources the government has available for exactly these types of situations...but actually getting them? Getting the information from these agencies is like pulling teeth.
“These agencies” which are set up for the sole purpose of helping special needs families access programs and making them easier to find are the ones withholding information from the people who desperately need it!

So you start studying the laws and learn your rights, and still when you request access to these resources to help your child, you find yourself having to fight for them! Sometimes they will deny they even exist or that that “particular program” doesn’t apply to your loved one. It goes back and forth. You actually have to fight for programs that are set up to help people just like my son!

It’s truly a never ending cycle.
It’s exhausting.
Life is so busy and stressful for so many caregivers and parents, things like this shouldn’t be.
I hate to believe that this is the whole idea: make everything a fight for parents and eventually they’ll lose steam and give up, but I’m almost 20 years in and it’s starting to look that way.

Thanks guys!
I feel better already just getting that off my chest...😉 I actually feel lighter!😁
Rant over 😁🤙❤️