The weekend has come and gone. We have arrived at the dreaded Monday. The start of the week of multiple therapies, doctor appointments, keeping the house afloat.

The windows are open and the sunshine and breeze are coming into the house. The feeling of fall usually brightens me right up, unfortunately, I am silent suffering as a special needs parent.

Here lately I am trying to balance all the therapies, doctor appointments, housework, and my self-care is usually out the window.

I am a mother. I do not have time to sit and dwell on my feelings. I have to stay strong for my kids, husband, and family.

I catch myself getting in a mindset of breaking down silent within myself.

Who would understand the emotions I am going through? I am a mother. Every mom goes through these emotions, right?

I need to stop and realize every mother is not a special needs parent.

They do not have the same worry as special needs parents.

They do not have the constant therapies or doctor appointments.

The constant battle of severe aggression consuming all your energy.

The silent suffering starts with the reflection in the mirror of yourself with scars, bruises, bite marks, and scratches that you have to endure from your child.

Silence is something special needs parents endure on daily basis.

The silent suffering can cause friction in marriages or friendships. You begin to cancel plans because you are so overwhelmed by life stressors.

The worry if your child with special needs will do okay with the grandparents or someone you feel safe watching your child.

The hole you feel like you’re sinking in becomes even bigger.

The tears that once shed behind closed doors are starting to show with the little things.

Emily Ransom is a mother to a beautiful six-year-old boy who has severe autism and epilepsy. Kash is nonverbal. Emily received her master's in Special Education with an emphasis on Autism and Emotional and Behavioral Disorders in May 2021. Emily has a blog titled Mama to Kash’s Voice where she shares her son’s journey through autism. Her blogs provide a safe place for families to not feel alone. Emily resides in Indiana with her husband Adam, Kash, and daughter Briella. They have two dogs one being Kash's autism therapy dog. https://www.facebook.com/mamatokashsvoice/ Instagram: @mamatokashsvoice

Website: www.mamatokashsvoice.com