As Father's Day approaches, I begin to see father's day balloons and cards and a little part of me cringes inside. Not to detract from the subject of this article, but for many of us this time of year is hard. I personally was given two father's and neither one of them wanted me. One was a drug addict and the other was an insane man who terrified me.

As I struggle to be happy for my son and create a fun day for my awesome husband, I am still weighed down with feelings of being cheated. I create a card with my son and have him write all his favorite things about his dad and realize they are the opposite of what I experienced. My husband is a hard working, loyal, and devoted dad. I could rave about him all day long, but I really think it's important to address the flip side of the coin.

The flip side of the coin, is learning how to appreciate what you have when those around you have so much more. It's an age old struggle and one I have not mastered. I have come up with some coping mechanisms however and I'll share those with you.

1. Start making your own traditions. These fun times and memories help to compensate for bad memories. Every year my husband and I take my son to a movie on Father's Day and then we go to visit his Great Grandparents.

2. Talk about the past. I've learned that it helps me to call a girlfriend and have a good hour chat about the upcoming holiday and what it means to me and my memories. If I deal with some of those hard memories before the actual day, I tend to be less emotional and more together on the actual day.

3. Tell your child the truth. When my son asks me about my dad, I tell him the truth. I also emphasize how wonderful his dad is and how I'm making good choices for him.

4. Mourn for your childhood. Instead of forcing yourself to be happy all the time on days like this, take a moment to yourself when you start to feel sad/overwhelmed and have a good cry/rage in private. It does wonders toward healing. If we just keep stuffing feelings aside they will resurface and be even stronger than before.

5. Tell yourself that you are worthy of love- Just because men betrayed you when you were a child does not mean that you have to continue bad relationships. I struggled with picking men that treated me well. I lucked out with my husband and with the help of friends, him, and counseling I have come to value my self worth and know I am worthy of love. Just because I don't have a dad to celebrate does not mean that I am unloved.

I hope this article wasn't too much of downer, but I thought the subject was too important to ignore. I also wish the best for those like me who are still healing.